Coaching Questions

Hugh Halter posted today on the topic of “How I Coach People into TRUE Missional Leadership.”

He gives four key aspects of life that must be coached in order for a leader to be a true missionally incarnational leader: Deep in Character, Clear in Calling, Culturally Savvy, and Able to Lead Inclusive Community.

Here are his coaching questions that can help our ability to engage our the lost culture with the Gospel:

  • Do you know the names of all your neighbors? If not, what can you do this month to get to know them without being a dork?
  • Are you doing any recreation, hobbies, or school functions with the intent to make friends?
  • Tell me about some good conversations you’ve had with lost friends this month? Have you made any plans to invite them deeper into your lives or go deeper into their lives?
  • How could you bless the children of the people you’re meeting?
  • Have any of your lost friends invited you to anything this last month? Did you go? How did it go? Any plans to thank them by inviting them to something cool?
  • Have you done anything this last month that you may need to apologize for to a lost friend? Maybe not being more helpful to them? Saying no to an invite they gave you? Maybe being gone when something bad happened to them?
  • What are you finding is always good news to your lost friends? Have you made any plans to be good news? What is that?
  • Have you taken much time this month to exegete the needs of your community? Have you talked to any school employees, city workers or government officials? How can you make that happen or begin to help where they expose need?
  • How many parties have you thrown or gone to this last month?
  • What types of non-profits are working in your area that you could help out with and support?
  • Have you been able to share much of your story to a lost friend this month? How did that go? Any follow up?
  • Are you showing patience with the people around you or have you overstepped any lines the culture is giving you lately?
  • Have you helped serve anyone this month?
  • How are you praying for the people around you? What does that look like? Has God led you to do anything unique for a friend?
  • Have you invited any new friends to anything this last month? What was it? How did that go? Any next steps?
  • Are you and your spouse in the same stride in how much time you’re giving to lost folks? How many times a week or evenings have you been opening your home?
  • How many of your 21 weekly meals have you been sharing with people?
  • How have you been engaging the culture with those in your Christian community?
  • Do you feel that your Christian community is trustworthy to bring any new friend to? If not, why and how can you mentor your community toward inclusiveness and trust?
  • Have you been advocating for any people this last month?
  • What common space, coffee shops, pubs, etc. have you been hanging out in consistently? Have any interesting relationships started to form?

I plan on using these to challenge my own missional journey and those I’m coaching.

I’d be interested in anything you’d modify, delete or add. Leave a comment.

Tags: , ,

8 Responses to “Coaching Questions”

  1. Sonja says:

    Thanks for posting this, Rick …

    I have a real problem with the phrase, “lost people” or “lost friends.” The phrase seems arrogant to me and feels as though there are categories in a hierarchy where in the speaker is above those people. Why not just have friends … without the categorization or the unspoken agenda?? It kinda gives me the creeps …

  2. Rick Meigs says:

    Very good point Sonja. If we need to identify the category of people who are not in relationship with Jesus (because we often do need to make a distinction in a discussion like this), what would be a term you’d be comfortable with? Frost refers to this group as “not yet Christians.”

  3. Mary says:

    Printing this out for frequent review! Thank you for posting :)

  4. Linda says:

    I’m with Sonja about labeling people as lost. In my opinion, the distinction is not helpful. I do not think it is necessary to predetermine a person’s “status” in order to have a meaningful spiritual conversation.

    By labeling the person, we miss opportunities with both the “lost” and the “saved” to hear what is in their heart from their perspective. I think we can have healthier conversations if they are not based in our presumption of a person’s need, but rather our response to every person is according to what we know of them through listening and through our relationship with them.

    This is a great list of ideas for broadening the circle of people that we interact with. Thanks for sharing it Rick.

  5. Rick Meigs says:

    Thanks Linda!

  6. My concern with this list is there is a trend in it that celebrates extroverted expressions of missionality a bit too centrally and universally. Otherwise interesting.

  7. Rick Meigs says:

    Jamie, that’s an enlightening observation that I had not really considered. Being an introvert, doing much of what is listed has been challenging. But I’ve always felt the need to be involved in relationship with others, so the list helped challenge my own missional journey in this arena.

    Think there is a list that celebrates extroverted expressions of missionality published somewhere? It might be an instructive comparison.